Home is a heartfelt word. It means more than a lease, than a house and property, than a bed to sleep on. It is where your heart belongs, where your soul is at rest and you are sincerely at peace.
Where my home is has started to become less hazy and more of a broad reality. I have two "homes". I have my family and childhood home in California, but I have my college and present-time "home" in Texas. I think it took coming home for a whole month to realize that just because I'm gone, it doesn't mean I'm really gone from California. People still remember me, I'm still thought about and discussed, missed or despised. Feelings and memories don't dissappear completely, though they do lessen and transform over time.
I can now go back to Texas and enjoy being home. There's a song I like to sing to my boyfriend, because it explains everything I am trying to convey with this blog post. It's called "Home" by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. The lines that speak to me are as follows:
Ahh home, let me come home
Home is wherever I'm with you.
Ohh home, yes I am home.
Home is when I'm alone with you.
l can rest easier knowing that I'm home when I'm with friends in Texas, just as much as I am at home when I'm cuddling on the familiar couch of my parents' home and chatting about good old times growing up.
I think I can get used to this independence and growing up stuff. ;-)
I hope you all have found and are enjoying your true "home". If not, I challenge you to do so, for your own soul and relaxation's sake.
~ S ~
~ S ~